Rings and Things
Dear Love & Lust,
I recently just got engaged and my fiance' just told me she wants a different ring. Now my issue with that is the ring I proposed to her with is the ring my Grandmother gave me when she was diagnosed with cancer and told me that when I find that one special lady give her this ring. The ring is a beautiful 2 carat diamond with gold band and flowers engraved into it. The ring is not only valuable still but has sentimental value! I am now doubting whether my fiance' is the one. Should I get her another ring to keep her happy? Should I convince her to keep the ring I gave her? Or should I just move on and call everything off?
Lord of The Ring.
Dear Lord of The Ring,
Hmmmm, you have posed an interesting situation, and we are going to respond as delicately as possible. First off you have to ask yourself this question, What are your doubts really about? Did the thought of her rejecting your grandmothers heirloom ring spark a superstitious fear of uh oh maybe this is not the one since she doesn't want grandma's ring? Or were you already experiencing doubts but this situation just made it seem more challenging?
I would think that your fiance' would understand the significance of this ring, and the fact that you chose her as the woman to give it too in proposal for marriage, but maybe she doesn't truly understand? Have you discussed it further with her? On the surface a woman truly invested in you would graciously accept that as high level token of love? But maybe she has her own superstitions, maybe she has discomforts about wearing a ring that was originally chosen for someone else. Maybe she just wants something that she feels is specifically her's and her's alone. There are many ways to look at this but selfish should not be one of them.
My resolution is that you both talk more about it, dig deeper and listen to each others reasoning for what each thinks is best to do. Then come to a common ground and make a decision of understanding together. If you can't come to a common ground then maybe your doubts are valid and marriage may not be the course you should take together. Might sound extreme, but think of all the other possible things you will need to compromise and come together on in marriage. Either way I believe you will know the best decision for you in your heart and your mind will guide you to it. Just be open and honest about it.